May 132016
3dfx logo

I had actually meant to post this upon release, but forgot. I’ve now been reminded on the forums that I should maybe do this, even if it isn’t really a match for this weblog, considering the target audience, language-wise. Well, whatever. Somewhere in 2014, a user named [OutOfRange]German flag from the German 3dfx forum [VoodooAlert]German flag had begun to write a German transcript for an interview that the [Computer History Museum] had conducted with the founders of the now-long-gone PC 3D graphics pioneer 3dfx Interactive. This is especially interesting stuff for PC gamers and hardware enthusiasts of the mid-90s to the early 2000s. I allows quite an insight into both the technological and business sides of a now-legendary 90s chip startup company.

Also, those guys are really nice people as well it seems. :)

It had been requested to have some kind of text file-based translation to read while watching the video by some guys who can’t speak English, and OutOfRange had begun to translate the video and write that, with some minor passages done by another user called [Kaitou]German flag. Ultimately, when I picked up the project, I (and others) had the idea of making a German fansub out of that. So together with OutOfRange, who supplied me with the latest versions of his transcript on-the-go, I started to learn about how to do (very) simple ASS/SSA soft subtitling using [Subtitle Workshop] and just got to it. Early on, there was little or no color coding and very little formatting, so working on it looked like this:

The early on of subtitling the 3Dfx Oral History Panel

The early-on of subtitling the 3Dfx Oral History Panel, I translated as I got fed new bits and pieces by OutOfRange…

But it got better and better, colors got assigned to all the guys to differentiate them from each other better when several people were talking at once (you get used to the colors fast!), explanatory information was put to the top of the frame and slowly but surely, the German fansub of that 2½ hour interview started to take shape:

3dfx Oral History Panel Screenshot

The 3dfx founders talking about how the would never do CAD on their first 3D chip for PC gamers, known as the “3Dfx Voodoo Graphics”. From left to right: Gary Tarolli, Scott Sellers, Ross Smith and Gordon Campbell.

So, where are the files? Here they are (thanks fly out once more to OutOfRange, [CryptonNite]German flag and [Hutzeputz]German flag for helping out with download mirrors!):

The 3Dfx Oral History Panel in its german fansub:


Audio & video are © 2013 Computer History Museum
[original English transcript] (This fansub is not based on it!), [original web stream] [] [Terms of use] Used with express permission!

The subtitles are licensed under the [CC BY-NC-SA 4.0].

  • Initiator and main translator: OutOfRange
  • Co-translator: Kaitou
  • Editor & fansubber: GrandAdmiralThrawn (that would be myself)
  • []German flag

This release was made possible also because of the friendly help of a legal representative of the Computer History Museum who helped clear up how we can dual-license and re-release this video by ourselves. Note that if you wish to redistribute a modified version (!) of this by yourself, you’d need to get express permission from the Computer History Museum by yourself. If you wish to modify the fansub, you may redistribute the .ass files freely under the CC BY-NC-SA 4.0, but not the whole, remuxed video unless you have permission from the Computer History Museum!

In essence: You may not redistribute modified versions of audio & video without express permission from the creator, as their license is in essence something like the [CC BY-NC-ND].

As a final note, I’m not really a fansubber, so don’t expect any kind of professional quality here. Or something that you’d get from an actual fansubbing group. But for an amateurish sub, it should be quite decent. ;)

Have fun! :)

PS.: If you’re ever anywhere near Silicon Valley, California, and even if you’re just a tiny bit interested in computer technology and history, pay that museum a visit! It’s seriously awesome, they even have mainframes from the 60s, magnetic core memory panels from the 50s and more modern stuff as well. Ah, I remember stuff like that CRAY machine or the “Weapons Director” box,  really nice exhibits there!

Jun 072015

Kung Fury: Street Rage logoSo after the release of that crazy crowdfunded (and free of charge) movie [Kung Fury], there is also a game! Now that was fast. Made by the Swedish game developers of [Hello There], the game is basically a clone of [One Finger Death Punch], as many gamers have already pointed out. Not that anybody seems to mind that – me included. It’s a superficially very simple 2-button street fighting game, where one button means “punch/kick/whatever to the left” and the other “punch/kick/whatever to the right”. Don’t let the seeming simplicity fool you though. There is more skill involved than you might think…

So let’s have a look at the intro of the game, which strongly resembles an 80s arcade machine style:

Kung Fury: Street Rage; That's our Hero!

Kung Fury: Street Rage; That’s our Hero!

So with the use of some Direct3D 9.0c shaders, the game simulates the look of an old CRT monitor, just like the arcade machines of old had! At the press of a button or after waiting for a bit we’re greeted with this:

Kung Fury: Street Rage - Insert Coin

Insert Coin!

Another button press and we can hear our virtual player throwing a coin into the machine, which gives us three lives (after being hit three times, we’d go down for good). And then, whenever any enemy approaches us from either side, you just press left or right to punch, kick, shoot or electrify the guy. It’s ok, they’re all Nazis anyway. We do this with our pals Barbarianna, Triceracop and Hackerman standing around in the background – all three as seen in the movie of course, just like all the enemies we’re beating up:

Kung Fury: Street Rage; Beat 'em up!

There are splatter effects even!

That screenshot is from the very beginning of the game, where we can only see our lowest-end Nazi foes. There are some Swedish Aryans too, which can take two hits, then that clone chick with Kung Fury essence infused into her, which needs a more advanced left/right combo to put down, and more. Like the kicking machine and the mysterious Ninja, all as seen in the movie. As long as you don’t miss too much (you have limited range) or get hit, you’ll build up a score bonus too. Not sure if there are more enemies than that, I haven’t really gotten that far yet.

Actually, I did reach a new High Score while doing those screenshots accidentally, leaving both chicks behind me, pretty neat:

Kung Fury: Street Rage; New High Score!

A new High Score!

Now Thor might still be doable, but Hackerman will be one tough nut to crack. I don’t think I’ll ever make it to the top though, the game is pretty damn hard. As it progresses, it starts speeding up more and more, and it’ll also throw more of the harder enemies at you, which will require quick reaction and sharp perception to get the combos right. “Just mash two buttons” may sound easy as said, but don’t underestimate it! Like with “One Finger Death Punch”, only the most skillful players will have a chance to reach the top!

When you’ve got enough, just press <Esc> (on the PC), and you’re asked whether you really want to quit. In an interesting way:

Kung Fury: Street Rage; Quitting the game.

Quitting/bluescreening the game.

If you confirm to quit the game, you’ll get another shader-based CRT effect thrown in:

Kung Fury: Street Rage; Quitting the game

It’s shutting down…

I haven’t really managed to play this for more than 5 minutes in a row, which sounds like very little, but this game is extremely fast-paced, so I can’t take much more in one go. ;) It’s quite a lot of fun though, and while not as sophisticated as “One Finger Death Punch”, it’s awesome in its own right, given the Kung Fury cheesiness, the CRT look and the chiptune-like soundtrack of the game.

The game is available in both paid and partially also free editions on several platforms now, and while I’ve read that the free versions do have ads, the paid ones definitely don’t, as I can vouch for on the PC platform at least. So here are the links:

  • [PC version] @ Steam for 1.99€ / $2.50. Supports >=Windows XP, >=MacOS X 10.6 and SteamOS plus regular Linux on x86_32/x86_64.
  • [PC+ARM version] @ Windows Store for $2.29. Supports Windows >=8.0 on x86_32/x86_64 and ARM architectures.
  • [Android version] @ Google Play for free or for 2.46€ with ads removed. Also available as a [separate APK file]. Supports Android >=2.0.1.
  • [iOS version] @ iTunes for free or for $1.99 with ads removed. Supports iOS >=6.0 on the iPhone 5/6, iPad and iPod Touch.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take another shot at number 3! :)

May 292015

Kung Fury logoWell, I’m not gonna say too much, and yeah, I’m a day late, but I’m just gonna say: Kung Fury is out! If you’re reading this, you’ll probably already know it and you’ve probably already seen this over the top crazy 80s trash anyway, but just in case you haven’t, you can [watch it directly on YouTube], where the guys have released the 30 minute official version for free, or right here, embedded for your viewing pleasure!

I do recommend having at least one beer before starting with this though! ;) Here you go:

The official 30min Kung Fury release!
Apr 182015

The Hoff - True Survivor (Kung Fury)Think about David Hasselhoff what you will, but one thing’s fore sure: He’s definitely an icon of the 80s of the past millennium, there’s no denying that. And now he’s really pulled one off, as he did the official intro song for the crowd funded movie “Kung Fury“, that set sail to collect all the 80s charm and weave it into a crazy action comedy of yet unseen proportions. Let’s give you a few buzz words right there: Cops, Kung Fu, hacking time itself, Kung Führer (yes, Hitler), ancient female viking warriors with guns, dinosaurs, evil robots. That’s enough for now I’m guessing.

The thing here is, that it’s not just the Hoff making some PR for Kung Fury – though it’ll most definitely work quite well in that regard – the song is actually catchy and surprisingly good, capturing the very soul of the 80s perfectly!

"True Survivor" single cover

“True Survivor (from Kung Fury)” single cover (click to enlarge)

Now, before I show you the music video, you should probably take a look at the official Kung Fury web site or maybe [here] first, to read about what Kung Fury is supposed to be, and to watch the official trailer. Whet that’s done, take a look at the madness The Hoff has created here, together with a lot of scenes from the actual movie:

As of 2015-04-18, 11:00 UTC+1 DST, this video has had about 2.1 million views on YouTube, having been online for roughly 2 days. Never doubt The Hoff!

Now if you want fun, and over-the-top 80s cheesiness, you’ll love this piece of trash (I just went ahead and bought the song, and I rarely do that), and you should probably go watch Kung Fury in any way you can when it’s being released next month! It will even come as a free download, heh, talk about awesome!



Dec 292013

Kung Fury logoOk, here is another crazy Kickstarter project I just have to show you! I was already raving about that super-cheesy 80’s hommage game called [Far Cry 3 – Blood Dragon], and here comes another blast back to the past, this time in the form of an independently produced movie. Here’s a synopsis: Kung Fury, Kung Fu renegade ex-cop, who just blew up an entire city block – you can tell this happens quite regularly – has to face the greatest Kung Fu master of all time (ok, hold on to something really tightly!) – Adolf Hitler a.k.a. Kung Führer!

Not without his 80’s hacker friend of course, who “hacks him back in time” to get him to the Kung Fu dictator using his cool computers with tiny CRTs and some time hacking glove with game pad buttons! Needless to say this goes terribly wrong and the man gets transferred way back in time, far too far, where he meets a viking warrior girl. Who has got an Uzi. Because this shit is super historically accurate! Asked for help by Kung Fury, she summons a super sized Thor, god of thunder, to come to their aid! (Let’s keep that accuracy in mind!)

Oh, and did I mention the dinosaurs? Yeah, they are riding on a dinosaur. Well, what can I say? Before I’m giving you the trailer and some more in-depth information, here are a few screen shots from the low-res trailer we currently have:

So as you can see: Tons of high quality shit going on right there! David Sandberg from Umeå, Sweden, mostly a music video and commercials director presents his very first own project here, Kung Fury. The guy has quite some experience in visual effects, directing and post production in general, and he is also writing the ultra-crazy story script for this flick. Currently, most of the filming is complete for  a 30 minute version of the movie, and the only thing missing is enough money to actually get it done. For that, the corresponding [Kickstarter campaign] has already risen more than the necessary $200.000.

The next goal would be $1.000.000, which would be enough to rewrite the script and extend the whole thing to make it a full-featured film. If that cannot be reached, the 30 minute version will still get released on the Internet for free! Yeah, that’s right, for free and for everybody to watch. I still pledged my $20 because I want a high quality digital 1080p version of this shit when it’s done, especially now that Postal 2 is obviously not going to happen any time soon. Pledging $30 gives you a few lower tier boni plus a full Blu-Ray which seems fair enough to me. Just didn’t do that because I don’t know if it’ll work fine outside the USA, with shipping, customs and all.

Oh and yeah, you will definitely (yeah, riiight) want to see the official trailer in motion, no? ;) So here you go, HTML5-capable too:

Now either you hate it or you love it, so if you hate it I suggest lobotomy or hitting your head on the table 117 times, and if you love it afterwards, [go support the crap]! If it’s really making that $1 million, I’m going to shit myself!

Sep 062013

Postal² logoSo Uwe Boll has run out of [Nazi gold]. This had to happen some day, right? Once I was a serious enemy of all of Uwe Bolls creations, because frankly, all his game-based movies were massive trash. Mostly. And then he somehow managed (Nazi gold it must’ve been ;) ) to raise the money for a [Postal movie]. And he casted a blonde guy named [Zack Ward] as the Postal Dude, how the HELL can you hire a blonde guy to play the Postal Dude?

I thought he was about to destroy what was one of the most awesome and controversial games ever to exist; Pissing on people, using cats as guns suppressors, Muslims vs. Christians, parents with assault rifles raiding a video game company for their “violent” games etc., an extremely black satire filled with tons of stereotypes.

So, as I was a big fan of the Postal² game, I had to get that movie just to see how much Uwe would’ve raped Postal. I did so illegally actually, as I was convinced no Uwe Boll trash can be worth hard cash. And then I watched it.

Boy was I wrong! For me, Uwe Boll shot from 0% to 100% credibility in this niche market, all due to Postal. And Zack Ward? He actually did fine! You got stupid Muslim extremist terrorists, Osama, Bush, monkeys raping a midget, and Uwe Boll himself getting killed in the movie. Even the cat suppressor from the Postal² game is there!

Cat suppressor

Just… don’t think about it too much, or your head will hurt!

Like the games, this is not for the faint of heart of course. As a satire it sits at the absolute maximum level of violence and political incorrectness, making fun of religious groups, celebrities, even the retarded if I recall correctly. Even kids die! And there are nukes! It is VERY easy to be offended by at least some of the scenes shown. Which is ok, the Postal and Postal² games were all the same. And a big bonus: The ending is the most awesome I have ever seen in a movie. And the ending is always the most important thing, you cannot mess that up, cause that’s what the viewer will remember most. And Postals ending in my opinion was just beyond great!

The Postal Dude

The Postal Dude – he tried to be peaceful! But at some point, they just pissed him off too much!

So I had decided to buy the [Blu-Ray] after its release and also got the [Postal Soundtrack] because I wanted Mark Polaks “The magic sound” that plays during the awesome ending.

Mind you, the movie is still massive trash. The dialogues are shit, the plot is – while existant – absolutely stupid, but frankly, I wouldn’t LIKE that movie if it was of high quality. It being so crappy perfectly fits the bill here, as it’s even greater fun that way.

Good pals!

Good pals!

And now, to the point: Uwe Boll wants to do a Postal 2 movie. And since the Nazi gold has been used up, and nobody else wants this shit, it seems we have to help him. Yes, the most-hated movie director of all time – at least amongst gamers – is asking for our help. And he does so on [Kickstarter]! Amongst the crazy, borderline insane videos Uwe Boll is posting there, there is also a more sincere one, see this:

Well, if he is going to make fun of the NSA, Celebrities, all possible religious factions and the general political situation at the moment, call me an idiot, but I’m all for it, which is why I am supporting this piece of trash!

Years ago, I would’ve hated somebody supporting Uwe Boll so much, I probably would’ve caused a shitstorm deluxe at any Blog asking for support for that guy. But Postal changed my mind. And I think Postal 2 could really be awesome. He said that he would bring in around $1 million himself, but needs another half million to be able to pull it off. So far, support has been slowly growing, but I hope there are more people out there who enjoyed Postal. If so, here’s your chance to get another piece of super ultra trash from Uwe Boll!

So yeah, I am actually really saying this.

[Go Support Postal 2]!